Now that the summer has drawn to a close, my year so far has been radically different from what I planned it to be. While the idea behind my Year of Extraordinary Thinking remains true and admirable, my own plans have had to change. I ended up not doing tree planting, I didn't enter the 3-Day Novel Writing Contest, I didn't finish writing my submission for SATCo, and I didn't ever get an artist's retreat. The reasons I didn't do these things were partially out of my control, but to the degree that it was in my own hands I chose not to do these things. There were a lot of personal demons that reared their ugly heads this summer and I wasn't brave enough to face them and soldier on. Because of that, I simply didn't have the energy to work on these things. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.

What this summer did bring with it was worthwhile in its own way, however. In producing and creating a puppet show for kids, I had a renaissance of sorts for children's literature. The fact that my mom is studying it right now only further whetted my appetite. Being around little kids (3-10) for the first time in a bajillion years was great. The immediacy of their imagination and life was invigorating. My mom made a remark a week or so ago about her granddaughter Lucy's visit to Calgary; she said that it's good to always have a young child in the house. I think she's absolutely right; she speaks as a grandmother, and I speak from a different place of course-- only as an actor, a person who depends on remembering how to reach the world of play. But I can see why that is true. Children were a good thing for me, during a very hard summer when I sometimes verged on taking myself way too seriously.

But: I'm biking more, I observed Lent and went through a lot of spiritual inquiry, I've learned a few new recipes from my cookbook (although I've fallen embarrassingly behind on that resolution), I've already hosted two storytelling parties, and despite the drawbacks, I did devote more time and energy to writing. These are not to be written off. It is progress. Yet the real measure of this Year of Extraordinary Thinking is whether or not I've been living truly and honestly. Have I been honouring my values? Have I been true to my self? That is perhaps the hardest thing anyone can do, but it is also the most important. It's important to check in with that question as often as possible. More often than I have been. So to start my fourth year on the right foot, now is a good time to ask it. In the short term, I can't say I am living as honestly as I know I can be, as I was meant to be. Two days from school starting and excited though I am, I don't feel ready. There is not enough time and my life is kind of crazy, what with moving in to a new place. Things haven't settled yet, and it's frustrating because I can't think straight right now. My desire to create is greater than my time or energy for it. Thankfully this can all be mended. Once school starts things will be settled, I'll be in a rhythm, and it'll be okay. But it's important to have the right start. Every little step counts.