Propagating Vaulger Trash One Day at a Time

As I was checking in returned rentals at Rogers today, I found a note in the DVD case of Burn After Reading. It reads:

"Warning! this Dvd is nothing more then vaulger Trash that is Not worth your time! Consider your self warned! very-very-very Bad movie! As God as my witness!!!"

And then on the other side it read: "May God who proves to be bring His Judgement and will against such trash! In Jesus Name may it be so!"

Now I've inscribed the note verbatim here, because I'd like to point out not only how ludicrous it is that someone would bother to write this note and send it to a video store, but how awful this person's spelling, grammar and punctuation is. That's the icing on the cake right here. So, I've written a note in response to this person:

Dear Fundamentalist Christian,

Your note truly made my day. It's good to know that the morality police are alive and well, whether it's shoving pamphlets in our faces on street corners or clandestinely slipping notes in our movie cases. If it weren't for you, whom would we have to defy with every breath, every act of insubordination we commit to keep our art (and our minds) free of censorship? I must admit I am a little insulted though, that you would send me a note so poorly written! What IS the world coming to?? If anything, the real sin here is people like you who degrade our language into something so simplistic that the only concepts we have are one or the other, black and white, right and wrong. Double plus ungood, I say (that's a reference to a book, by the way. It's just more Vaulger Trash though, I wouldn't bother reading it if I were you). Anyway, thanks for looking out for my soul, Mr. Puritan. But next time, please remember to spell-check your fire-and-brimstone notes and save us all the embarrassment.

Yours truly,

Liam