Today is James Ussher day. Why is that? Because 6014 years ago, God created the universe, and this 17th century Irish Archbishop figured it all out. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, on the eve of October 23, 4004 BC, EVERYTHING came into being. And we all owe it to Ussher's intrepid scholarship for pinning that date down.
Darwin was obviously on crack. Clearly, the dinosaurs and other prehistoric flora and fauna were wiped out in the Great Flood. It's a fact. Get used to it, evolutionary theorists. So today is for you, Creationists, you wacky bunch, and your champion, Mr. Ussher. I salute you!
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