Four Years Later, a Degree

Well obviously, right? Geez, who wrote that title?

So, in my last entry, I said that these have been the richest four consecutive years of my life. I really meant it. They've been very hard, sometimes nearly impossible to handle, but they have given me so much.

When I entered the acting program, I was fighting an inferiority complex due to the fact that UVic wasn't NTS, or NYU, or Juilliard, or [insert any other prestigious acting school here]. I expected the program to mould me into a disciplined, and highly sophisticated acting machine, and if it didn't, then it would only confirm my fears. But I was determined. Now I believe I have a very strong work ethic. I would drive myself to the point that I wasn't even enjoying myself any more. And any point where I felt like the program had fallen short of my impossible expectations made me doubt it, as if I wasn't getting something that every other acting program in the world was getting. I will also admit that there were times I felt that none of us took it seriously enough, which contributed to a less than exemplary training environment. This is not true, of course. We all take it seriously, and I apologise to my peers for thinking that. If anything, I was the one with a rod up his arse. Also, I see now how exemplary this training environment really was.

Now, looking back on five terms of Voice and Movement and six of Acting, I realise that there's no way any school can yield more out of 3 years of training than what we went through. There's simply not enough time. It was more about breadth than depth, I'd say. But still, what breadth! We were given the opportunity to explore so many different avenues of performance--Stanislavski techniques, Meisner, ballet, Shakespeare, Chekhov, Ibsen, Mask, Laban, stage combat, Viewpoints, acting for Film and TV, contemporary dance, self-generated work, meditation, collective creation--and you could spend four years (and beyond!) studying any single one of these on its own. How cool is that? "That's what you went to SCHOOL for?" "Shit yeah!" And this list doesn't include all the great guests we had visit us and offer their wisdom--alumni, actors and directors, casting directors, playwrights, all of whom were working professionals with illustrious careers.

So what if the Phoenix isn't in Toronto, swarming with talent scouts? Alright, the business of theatre is very much about who you know, but what we should be largely concerned about while we're training is our craft, and I have no reason to believe we got less of it than any other school in the country, or the world. Some renowned schools might have great teachers, but those very same schools have their share of crappy teachers, too. Perhaps this is the wrong detail to be looking at, but it makes me feel like I haven't missed out, knowing there's good and bad teachers just about everywhere you go. The reputation of a school alone does not a good actor make. Perhaps a well-connected one, but the quality of the training is hit and miss everywhere. And even so, for all my teachers' foibles, I feel it was mostly a hit. Some I gained from more than others, but I learned from each and every one of them. And let's not forget my peers: fellow actors, directors, designers, stage managers, writers, technicians, and scholars; a whole community of people extremely passionate about the same thing as me. Even without the profs' help, it's proved to be a fertile ground for creativity.

My understanding of a BFA in Acting is that it is a time to be opened up to many different options. Don't mistake me; I'm not saying it was just one long introductory course. Some of it was gloriously in depth, and I feel like a much stronger, competent and confident actor than I was four years ago. Of course there is a sharpening of skills, but that's something that takes an entire lifetime to do. If Acting only took three to four years to master, it would hardly be worth doing, wouldn't it? Sure, maybe a conservatory style school would have a higher concentration of what we were learning, but even then it can only go so far.

If nothing else, you know why I believe this education was a success? Despite the progress I've made, I leave with many habits I had upon entrance, and that's OK. I am at peace with my incompleteness as an actor. I am spurred on by it. And above all I am ready. Not only do I leave ready to leave, ready to move on to the next big adventure, but I leave even more curious, open, and hungry than when I began. This, I think, is what this BFA should be all about. And for that, I'm so very grateful.