Oh hi there!
Now that I'm standing firmly on the other side of a Bachelors Degree, and am at a safe distance from a flurry of euphoric end-of-year farewells, it seems like a good time to blog and get all reflect-ey up in here.
But first, I want to post part of an entry I wrote in first year, describing the crossroads I was once at:
"So here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to work as hard as I can in all my classes and keep my grades up, and audition for second year acting at the end of the year. But I don't think double-majoring is gonna work, unless I do the Theatre/Writing program, which is an option.
"Ok, so here's the plan:
If I get into Acting next year, I'll Major in Acting and Minor in English
If I don't get into Acting, I'll do the Theatre/Writing Major, and Minor in English (second choice)
or
Directing, minoring in English or Writing (2nd second choice)
or
Theatre Generalist Option, minoring in English (3rd second choice)"
So, I went into Acting. No, I didn't minor in English (although I did try to take a Medieval English Lit. course in second year). I also tried to double-major in Acting and Writing, which became one of the most stressful school years of my life. So I decided I wanted to enjoy my University experience: Writing was cut, and I never looked back. Except for when I did.
Don't get me wrong. The following 3rd and 4th years were the second half of the richest 4 years of my life. But while not majoring in Writing need never stop me from doing it on my own, the desire kept cropping up throughout. When 4th year was under way and we were focusing on generating original work in two thirds of our performance classes, it became almost overwhelming. The talks we had of "the biz", from how to get an agent, to head shots, to how to do income taxes as an actor scared me, and made me wonder whether I wanted to do this beyond the haven of school. If I was this scared and hesitant, did that mean I wasn't in the right place?
In the second term I seriously questioned my need to act, quite frankly. It's not that I didn't enjoy it; of course I did. But did I feel compelled to do it? Was it worth going through all the hoops of auditioning and agent shopping and taxes? Did my desire really trump all those things? I've often heard that if you doubt whether you should be in theatre, get the hell out. Well, I could feel a big ol' rat called doubt rattling about in my skull.
Granted, this was also because we were all so close to graduating that the temptation to mentally 'check out' was stronger than ever. And if it helped at all, I knew this feeling was similar to what I felt in second year. To be honest, I haven't entirely shaken it off, but I'm certain that some time for rest will help me to gain some perspective. Already I'm thinking about it in a more imperative light. I know I don't have to choose between writing and acting, but right now the former dominates. And the question remains: what next?
Well, as I did in first year, I'll list my up to date options as they stand:
-Take a cross-country trip to all the major theatre scenes, auditioning and giving out headshots
-National Voice Intensive next year
-Playwriting Workshop with Daniel MacIvor at the Banff Centre next year
-Move to Toronto
-Audition for plays
-Try and create new work with fellow theatre-folk
-Mask work (full, half, neutral)
-Small film projects
-Build up writing portfolio, submit to every contest and magazine I can get my hands on, and in a couple of years time, apply for the Creative Writing MFA at University of Guelph
-Audition for Stratford Festival
-Audition for Stratford's Birmingham Conservatory
-Audition for Shaw Festival
The two big goals I'm looking at right now (and may be in competition for each other) are auditioning for Birmingham, and applying for the MFA at Guelph. Thankfully I don't have to make the decision right away, and I can still cast for both of them (likely multiple times, until one of them bites). Either way, it looks like I'm eastbound. It's just a question of when, and how I'll get there.
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